Art

As a person with an intense history of mental illness, I want to weigh in on the interwebz furor surrounding two recent incidences (one at a high school, the other a university) of competitive dance teams incorporating straight jackets and "wild" makeup into their routines.

I seem to be in the minority when I say this, but I am not offended by these choices AT ALL. I AM somewhat offended to feel a sort of obligation from other mental health advocates to get hot under the collar about this. There is an implication that if I don't, the only reason why is because the man been keepin' me down so long I've gotten used to it. Yes, fitting into society has been difficulty for me and anyone with similar symptoms. Yes, I've felt alone, and occasionally, resigned to a miserable fate. And no, that is NOT the reason why I'm on the side of the dance teams in this case.

I will admit I have not seen either of the performances, though I've looked around for clips on YouTube with no success. I still feel confident in my opinion as the look of either routine would make no difference at all to me. Dance is art. Some of you out there are throwing out a red herring to say it's sport, not art. That argument is meaningless. Art to me is any kind of personal expression springing from one's own, and in this case the group's, creativity. Passionate athletes are artists too. Unless an artist is committing a crime, he/she is free to let it all hang out. This is the fucking United States of America. Let's not move backward any more than we already are in other areas.

Do we need more good quality mental health services in this country, available to more people, at lower financial and social cost? Yes. Do those mental health advocates who are writing letters to the networks, the schools, and the world have the best of intentions, love their ill children, etc? Yes. Does that make actual repression and/or efforts to impose it okay? No.

For those who are unaware, there was plenty of macabre art in the world before this, and it won't stop now, no matter what we as individuals say, do, or wish. Some people will connect to it, and some won't. Those that find any particular bit of artistic expression not to their liking may turn their faces away/associate with different organizations/remember it is each person's CHOICE to be offended or not in any given situation. In this case, there was no material or immaterial threat to anyone, and no intention of such. To choose to be offended is merely a waste of mental energy, and won't accomplish anything. Why not put that energy toward generating what this country really needs: a group of mental health lobbyists in significant proportion to get and keep the attention of lawmakers.

Anyway.

Someone might make fun of me or turn me down for a job or a relationship if I was actively mentally ill, mostly because symptoms like psychosis, manic rage and aggression, and suicidal or parasuicidal behaviors are scary to witness, hard to understand, and can be dangerous to an observer who doesn't have specialized training. That is their right. If I was in remission from these symptoms (as I mostly am now) I would not want to go around the world wearing one of those Bring Change 2 Mind T-shirts with the word "schizophrenic" or "bipolar" written on it and demand that other people immediately bow down and "understand" me. I would not want to do that if I had cancer, diabetes, or a cognitive disability either. I just want to live and reserve the personal details of my life and its high/low points for my close friends and family. (This blog is entirely anonymous so I don't really consider it personal, per se.) I don't see my mental illness as something to be proud of or something other people must be comfortable with and willing to chat with me about when our relationship is casual or non-existent. I have tried to for a while and I can't understand why other people disagree with me on this.

It is my responsibility to seek out the best treatment I can find for myself, or to entrust myself to a loved one's and/or ideally a professional's judgment if I am unable due to symptom severity (and yes, I have been there, multiple times.) It is my responsibility to take the reins of my life and get myself to a stable, healthy place, no matter if it takes me my whole life to do it. In some way, shape, or form, we all have mental difficulties. I'd rather they came up in art in whatever form that may take instead of not at all. That means the truth is out there and legal, practical progress is within our reach. Dance on girls, and I hope both teams did well in their competitions.